I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I know her cup size but not her name....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize