Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
