i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
