I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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