I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
