you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you win again, gameday.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
