I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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