So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
