Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
