Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
