You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
