You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
