You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
