I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
