The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
time to smoke my breakfast
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
