I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
