I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
