found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
