Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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