I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
