I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
