I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
