if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
