This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize