its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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