NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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