we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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