i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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