Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
