Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
