3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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