But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
