yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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