I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
no, he came in my armpit
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Randomize
