Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize