that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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