He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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