So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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