Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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