hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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