if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
