I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
