the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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