I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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