Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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