i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
