so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
