This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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