Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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