literally had 100 drinks last night.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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