I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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