The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
