I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
