At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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