Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
