i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
