ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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