I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
