i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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