guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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