i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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