how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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