gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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