Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
