Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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