I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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