Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize